Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment. What an incredibly intimidating topic. In writing this, I am very aware that this is a subject of great meaning to some, and I wish to advise that it may be a trigger for people who can associate with it personally.

Let's start from the beginning.

Early last year, I began my first ever job; working in the deli of a small supermarket. Over my first two shift, in which I was being trained by a few of the girls who had been working there for a while already, I was warned of the behaviour of my manager (let's call his Justin for the purpose of this post) towards the employees of the store, specifically the younger females (aging between around 15 and 22). "That's just how he is" said one girl, "Don't let it bother you.". And as a young and impressionable teenager, I believed her.

During my first few shifts, I followed her advice, "He doesn't mean it.", "He's just a touchy-feely guy" I told myself every time that Justin would take me by the hips in order to move past me in the small isles of the tiny supermarket , or when he would get uncomfortable close when telling me something.

As the weeks and months went by, I became more aware of, and invested in creating equal rights and opportunities for all people, no matter their race, gender or sexual orientation. Feminism became a huge part of my being. I began to notice all the little things (and the big) that went on around me, whether it be the derogatory lyrics in music on the radio, or the clear gender roles that exist in my workplace.* I got better about confronting people, at making myself heard. I would ask the teenage boys graffiting trains what the point was, I would question sexist insults, and most of all, I made sure that I was not weak and submissive.

However, after all of this change, there was still one thing, that no matter how hard I tried, and how badly I wanted to, I could not stand up for. And that was me. Instead of giving Justin the well deserved speech about basic human rights, and general decency that I had spent hours upon hours thinking about, every time that he came just that little bit too close, or breached a topic just that little bit too personal, I found myself doing the worst thing possible; grinning and bearing it.
"Stupid!" "How can you let him do this to you?" I would scream at mself during and after each encounter.

There was one timed that scared me more that the rest. I was just about to walk out the of store, and into the 'staff only' area where all of the excess stock was kept, when Justin came up behind me and asked me a question. At this point, I had turned around, and was then facing Justin, with my back facing the two back walls of the store. Essentially, I was trapped. In an oddly calm manner, Justin placed his hand on my breast, and continued to talk to me as though nothing had happened.
At this point, I have frozen, both my body and my mind. For some reason all of the things that I had always wanted to yell at Justin, to spit in his face never make their way out of my mouth.

Eventually I decided that enough was enough. I needed to get out of there. I wrote a letter to my boss (who just so happens to be my managers brother), politely explaining that I no longer wish to work at his shop, for reasons that I would like to discuss, and no longer allow me to feel safe at work. I explained that the issue at hand was not something that I was willing to let slide by, and that something had to be done about it, or who knows, maybe the authorities could get involved.

You see I know how it feels to fell helpless, and vulnerable, and I am mot willing to let that happen to anybody else if I can help it.
That is why I am writing this post; not so that you all feel bad for me, to pity my, but so that you can learn from my mistakes, Speak up before it gets out of control,

Knowing when things went too far was never an issue for me. For me, the problem was finding the courage to speak the words that were always there, but somehow never made it out of my mouth and into the world.

You were born with a voice, so please, use it for good. Make the world a better place. Make yourself heard.


Til next time,
Bella
xxx

P.S. If you are feeling as though you need to speak up about sexual harassment either in your workplace, school, home or sporting clubs, please contact someone who can help, such as

*Part of my 'job' was to clean the dishes in the washroom, which only ever consisted of my manager, and boss' lunch plates, and coffee mugs.

Feminism Speech

­The come from north, south, east and west,

They are marching throughout this land,

It is something that women call sisterhood,

That’s beginning to take a stand.

They are women from every race and creed,

They are women from all walks of life,  

They are beginning to realise who they are,

Besides a mother, a lover or wife.

I came across this poem while researching my topic of feminism, and I think that by addressing the fact that women too, are people, who deserve to be treated as such, would be a huge step forward for gender equity.

The main issues that I want to cover in my speech today, are the general overlooking of women, the taxation of sanitary products, and the differences between men and women in the work force.

I think that one of the most common and destructive notions in the world today is that women should be respected because they are someone’s mother, someone’s sister, or someone’s partner. I mean, is it so much to ask?

We need to destroy the idea that men should respect women because we are their mothers, daughters, and sisters, and instead reinforce the idea that men, and other women should respect us because we too, are people.

Another damaging and dangerous concept is the perception of women. Even now, women are seen as the lower class, their value never exceeding that of a man. Now, I don’t know about you, but the fact that I am seen as inferior to someone merely based on my gender, makes me angry. To quote something I saw on social media; “I’m angry. I’m angry because the best thing that a woman can be is a women, but the worst thing a man can be is a woman. Even at her best, a woman will never be better that a man’s worst.”

This just goes to show how twisted and partial society is, conscious or otherwise, and that whilst women’s rights have improved vastly, there is still so much to catch up on.

An issue that I think all of us can relate to is the price and taxation of sanitary products. Sanitary products are taxed as luxury items, apparently much less necessary than nicotine patches and lubricants which are both GST free, seeing as that they are considered ‘‘important health goods”.

I took it upon myself to calculate how much money I spend on sanitary products for each month. When I added every item together, the total came to $20.00, now when the average woman has her period 450 times during her lifetime, that’s just over $8500.00 spent solely for the purpose of what? Not bleeding out all over the place? What a luxury. To put it into context, I could get 4 people to New York and back with that kind of money.

On average, women spend an extra $12,500 over their lifetime just on bras and sanitary products. Now how are we supposed to pay for all of these expensive, yet necessary items when women, in general are earning less?

While more women are being appreciated for their full potential, there is still a definite struggle to be seen in the workforce. Men are still taking credit for women’s ideas, and thus becoming more successful.

According to a study run by the New York Times earlier this year, more men named John are CEOs of big companies than all women? As alarming as it already sounds, all Johns make up only 1.6% of the population, whereas women make up 51.2%.

Now, while it’s all good and well to call yourselves feminists, it’s not enough, we have to begin to fight for equality, and stand up for what is right to make a real change in the world. I hope that you can all join me in the fight for equality, and be proud to call yourselves feminists.

Thank you


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