Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment. What an incredibly intimidating topic. In writing this, I am very aware that this is a subject of great meaning to some, and I wish to advise that it may be a trigger for people who can associate with it personally.

Let's start from the beginning.

Early last year, I began my first ever job; working in the deli of a small supermarket. Over my first two shift, in which I was being trained by a few of the girls who had been working there for a while already, I was warned of the behaviour of my manager (let's call his Justin for the purpose of this post) towards the employees of the store, specifically the younger females (aging between around 15 and 22). "That's just how he is" said one girl, "Don't let it bother you.". And as a young and impressionable teenager, I believed her.

During my first few shifts, I followed her advice, "He doesn't mean it.", "He's just a touchy-feely guy" I told myself every time that Justin would take me by the hips in order to move past me in the small isles of the tiny supermarket , or when he would get uncomfortable close when telling me something.

As the weeks and months went by, I became more aware of, and invested in creating equal rights and opportunities for all people, no matter their race, gender or sexual orientation. Feminism became a huge part of my being. I began to notice all the little things (and the big) that went on around me, whether it be the derogatory lyrics in music on the radio, or the clear gender roles that exist in my workplace.* I got better about confronting people, at making myself heard. I would ask the teenage boys graffiting trains what the point was, I would question sexist insults, and most of all, I made sure that I was not weak and submissive.

However, after all of this change, there was still one thing, that no matter how hard I tried, and how badly I wanted to, I could not stand up for. And that was me. Instead of giving Justin the well deserved speech about basic human rights, and general decency that I had spent hours upon hours thinking about, every time that he came just that little bit too close, or breached a topic just that little bit too personal, I found myself doing the worst thing possible; grinning and bearing it.
"Stupid!" "How can you let him do this to you?" I would scream at mself during and after each encounter.

There was one timed that scared me more that the rest. I was just about to walk out the of store, and into the 'staff only' area where all of the excess stock was kept, when Justin came up behind me and asked me a question. At this point, I had turned around, and was then facing Justin, with my back facing the two back walls of the store. Essentially, I was trapped. In an oddly calm manner, Justin placed his hand on my breast, and continued to talk to me as though nothing had happened.
At this point, I have frozen, both my body and my mind. For some reason all of the things that I had always wanted to yell at Justin, to spit in his face never make their way out of my mouth.

Eventually I decided that enough was enough. I needed to get out of there. I wrote a letter to my boss (who just so happens to be my managers brother), politely explaining that I no longer wish to work at his shop, for reasons that I would like to discuss, and no longer allow me to feel safe at work. I explained that the issue at hand was not something that I was willing to let slide by, and that something had to be done about it, or who knows, maybe the authorities could get involved.

You see I know how it feels to fell helpless, and vulnerable, and I am mot willing to let that happen to anybody else if I can help it.
That is why I am writing this post; not so that you all feel bad for me, to pity my, but so that you can learn from my mistakes, Speak up before it gets out of control,

Knowing when things went too far was never an issue for me. For me, the problem was finding the courage to speak the words that were always there, but somehow never made it out of my mouth and into the world.

You were born with a voice, so please, use it for good. Make the world a better place. Make yourself heard.


Til next time,
Bella
xxx

P.S. If you are feeling as though you need to speak up about sexual harassment either in your workplace, school, home or sporting clubs, please contact someone who can help, such as

*Part of my 'job' was to clean the dishes in the washroom, which only ever consisted of my manager, and boss' lunch plates, and coffee mugs.

Fat Shaming

Hi all!

Today I wanted to write a short article about a topic that sees a lot of attention in the media; fat shaming

First of all, I want to say that I am so sad to see people being bullied and ridiculed for being overweight.

The main point that I want to cover today is the body shaming of people who are overweight, and why it is wrong, and why - in some ways - people may be right (I know that I sound like a right cow, but if you hear me out, I think that it makes a lot of sense).

To start off, body shaming sucks. No matter what you look like, nobody deserves to be put down due to the shape and size of their body. Not the thin people battling with eating disorders, not the naturally thin people, not the average sized people, and not the overweight people.

Now, while I may not be able to personally identify with this particular group of people,  I, myself have struggled with body image issues, and know how difficult it can be to love yourself, when we live in a society where women are constantly put down for recognizing the fact that they may look and feel gorgeous.

The thing about fat people (yes I said it), is that they're fat. Nothing wrong with that in terms of what clothing you can wear, and feel comfortable in, or your self esteem. I have no issues with people being happy with themselves despite being overweight; I am so glad that they can love themselves for who they are.

Recently we have been seeing a lot of controversy about the portrayal (or lack thereof) of plus sized people in magazines and advertising. I am all for being body positive, and making people feel beautiful, however I think that there is a very fine line between allowing people to feel included and beautiful, and accommodating for people to aspire to look like someone who is overweight.

By aspiring to be overweight, just as someone aspiring to be underweight, there are serious health risks involved. Let's look at the facts. People who are overweight have significantly increased chances of conditions such as;
 - Hypertension
 - Diabetes
 - Some Cancers
 - Cardiovascular Conditions
 - Stroke
 - Arthritis
A lot of these conditions are potentially fatal, and significantly decrease the quality of life.

This is my primary reason for being tentative when it comes to plus sized models being advertised as a beauty standard.

I would love to know what you think about this topic, and I know that, as this is such a controversial topic, that I may receive some backlash for writing this, but I really do feel that there is a fine line between being accepting, and being at a serious health risk.

* Please be aware, that when I say plus sized models, I don't mean you're average size 12-14 person.

Til next time,
Bella
xxx

My First Experience with Re-Usable Menstrual Products (RUMPs) Part Two

If you haven't already, please read my previous post My First Experience with Re-Usable Menstrual Products (RUMPs) Part One, as this follows on from that.

Day One (Day Two of my cycle):
Upon receiving my cup, I immediately raced to the bathroom to see how it would go.
Armed with my laptop and cup, I prepared myself. I folded my cup using the punch-down fold and tried to insert it.I didn't seem to be able to get it up past the rim.
After beginning to feel as though I had been wrong about my revolutionary world saving menstrual cup, I turned to on of Bree's videos designed to help those new to the RUMPs world. Honestly such a lifesaver!
Bree is a youtuber whose main goal is to help educate people about RUMPs, as well as other matters relevant to the female reproductive system. She has tons of videos comparing different cup, so I would recommend checking them out before purchasing your own.

Anyway, after my many failed attempts at insertion, I finally got it in! The stem poked out just the tiniest amount, but I figured I would wait until I was sure before trimming it, but otherwise it was great! No leaking or discomfort unless I walked around too much.

After around 5 hours, just before going to bed, I decided to take it out and empty it. Honestly, I was disappointed with the tiny amount that was there - the blood only reached the 5 ml measuring line (about 1/6 of the total capacity). I re-inserted, put on a pad just incase and hoped for the best.

Day Two:
The first night of using my cup was fantastic! No leaks or discomfort, but the best thing was I could get up in the morning and take my time to get to the bathroom, as the horrible waterfall feeling when getting up in the morning was now a thing of the past!

However the greatness of this day was short lived. As it was a school day, I put on a backup pad and inserted my cup. It felt as though it had been inserted properly and I could hardly feel it. Spoiler alert: This is when it starts to get bad. Literally within the first two minutes of leaving my house, I began to feel this strange and almost painful rubbing inside my vagina, making it very uncomfortable to walk.I decided that it was fine; I could make it to school, it's only forty minutes away.
Boy did I regret that! The rest of the walk and train ride was filled with pain and images of my cup falling out and leaking everywhere!
As soon as I got to school I raced to the bathroom and had no choice but to pull the thing out.I knew that I was supposed to wash it out with water, but as I had none ( unless of course, I wanted to clean out my bloody cup in the middle of peak bathroom hour!) I used toilet paper, and was happily surprised by how well it worked. I re-inserted and hoped for the best.

By lunch it was beginning to feel quite uncomfortable, and when I went to the bathroom, I discovered that it had started leaking. I pulled it out and noticed that there was some blood in the cup - I assumed that it had not opened properly, so half of the blood was caught, and the other half leaked straight past the cup.

The nest time that I took it out was when I was at work, so again I wasn't able to wash it out. As earlier, this turned out fine, and it didn't leak or feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Day Three:
As this was the forth day of my period, I didn't use it after this day.
Similarly to the previous day, I woke up happy; no leaks, no pain and no complaints. This day was a weekend so I didn't have much on the agenda apart from going swimming in the morning for which I used a tampon just to be sure. The day went on as usual, and passed without many leaks and only mild cramping, which was solved with a heat pack and some Mintec (peppermint oil).

Overall, my experience was not as successful as I would have hoped, but I'm not giving up on it just yet!

Bella
xxx

P.S, If you like my blog, or are intersted in learning more about the environment, feminism an re-usable menstrual products, please follow, either via e-mail, or google with the tools to the right.

My First Experience with Re-Usable Menstrual Products (RUMPs) Part One

Recently, I came across a previously unheard of concept; re-usable menstrual products, or also known as RUMPs. Until then, I had only ever known about disposable menstrual products; pads and tampons. It was whilst tracking my period on strawberrypal.com that I noticed an advertisment featuring the 'Mooncup - a great alternative to tampons.'

Being the curious creature that I am, this intrigued me; 'what other means of dealing with one's flow could there posibly be?' my naive mind asked.

Upon researching further, I discovered this fabulous video debating the pros and cons of both menstrual cups and tampons:

It, and the moon cup websitetold me all that I needed to know:
 - Menstrual cups can be used for up to 12 hours at a time.
 - One menstrual cup can be used for up to 10 years, saving the earth from millions of disposables each year.
 - Menstrual cups have not been linked to any cases of Toxic Shock Syndrome.

As hooked on the idea as I was, I knew that it would be a challenge convincing my Mum of this relatively unknown form of sanitary product (Being only 15 years old, I wasn't able to buy one online myself, nor do they sell them in stores where I live).

Boy did it take some convincing! Luckily I had done my research; she was full of questions.'Won't it hurt? It looks huge.' 'Is it safe?' 'Does the plastic leach?' 'Is it hard to use?' and of course; 'How do you know you'll use it?'

Whilst I had many of these answers already, others would have to come from experience.

Other than the moon cup, there are plenty of other brands that make menstrual cups. Some of the more popular ones are:
 - Lunette Cup
 - Ruby Cup
 - Diva Cup
 - Lily Cup
 - MeLuna Cup
and the list goes on and on.

Most brands have at least two different sized cups, and almost all of them (excluding the Keeper - Latex and the MeLuna cups - TPE) are made of 100% medical grade silicone, meaning they are completely safe for internal use.

In th end I decided on the Ruby Cup size Medium because I had seen some great reviews on the company, but mostly because they have a policy in which for every cup purchase, one will be donated to a girl in Africa who cannot access sufficient sanitary products.

My cup couldn't have arrived at a better time. As I was on the second day of my period, I was so excited to try it out. In the package (a pink biodegradable bag) came my cup in the colour purple, a cotton pouch to store my cup, a booklet on how to care for and use my cup as well as a pink steriliser which I also purchased.

See part two for my daily account of my first time using my Ruby Cup.


Bella
xxx

P.S, If you like my blog, or are intersted in learning more about the environment, feminism an re-usable menstrual products, please follow, either via e-mail, or google with the tools to the right.

Feminism Speech

­The come from north, south, east and west,

They are marching throughout this land,

It is something that women call sisterhood,

That’s beginning to take a stand.

They are women from every race and creed,

They are women from all walks of life,  

They are beginning to realise who they are,

Besides a mother, a lover or wife.

I came across this poem while researching my topic of feminism, and I think that by addressing the fact that women too, are people, who deserve to be treated as such, would be a huge step forward for gender equity.

The main issues that I want to cover in my speech today, are the general overlooking of women, the taxation of sanitary products, and the differences between men and women in the work force.

I think that one of the most common and destructive notions in the world today is that women should be respected because they are someone’s mother, someone’s sister, or someone’s partner. I mean, is it so much to ask?

We need to destroy the idea that men should respect women because we are their mothers, daughters, and sisters, and instead reinforce the idea that men, and other women should respect us because we too, are people.

Another damaging and dangerous concept is the perception of women. Even now, women are seen as the lower class, their value never exceeding that of a man. Now, I don’t know about you, but the fact that I am seen as inferior to someone merely based on my gender, makes me angry. To quote something I saw on social media; “I’m angry. I’m angry because the best thing that a woman can be is a women, but the worst thing a man can be is a woman. Even at her best, a woman will never be better that a man’s worst.”

This just goes to show how twisted and partial society is, conscious or otherwise, and that whilst women’s rights have improved vastly, there is still so much to catch up on.

An issue that I think all of us can relate to is the price and taxation of sanitary products. Sanitary products are taxed as luxury items, apparently much less necessary than nicotine patches and lubricants which are both GST free, seeing as that they are considered ‘‘important health goods”.

I took it upon myself to calculate how much money I spend on sanitary products for each month. When I added every item together, the total came to $20.00, now when the average woman has her period 450 times during her lifetime, that’s just over $8500.00 spent solely for the purpose of what? Not bleeding out all over the place? What a luxury. To put it into context, I could get 4 people to New York and back with that kind of money.

On average, women spend an extra $12,500 over their lifetime just on bras and sanitary products. Now how are we supposed to pay for all of these expensive, yet necessary items when women, in general are earning less?

While more women are being appreciated for their full potential, there is still a definite struggle to be seen in the workforce. Men are still taking credit for women’s ideas, and thus becoming more successful.

According to a study run by the New York Times earlier this year, more men named John are CEOs of big companies than all women? As alarming as it already sounds, all Johns make up only 1.6% of the population, whereas women make up 51.2%.

Now, while it’s all good and well to call yourselves feminists, it’s not enough, we have to begin to fight for equality, and stand up for what is right to make a real change in the world. I hope that you can all join me in the fight for equality, and be proud to call yourselves feminists.

Thank you


P.S, If you like my blog, or are intersted in learning more about the environment, feminism an re-usable menstrual products, please follow, either via e-mail, or google with the tools to the right.