Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment. What an incredibly intimidating topic. In writing this, I am very aware that this is a subject of great meaning to some, and I wish to advise that it may be a trigger for people who can associate with it personally.

Let's start from the beginning.

Early last year, I began my first ever job; working in the deli of a small supermarket. Over my first two shift, in which I was being trained by a few of the girls who had been working there for a while already, I was warned of the behaviour of my manager (let's call his Justin for the purpose of this post) towards the employees of the store, specifically the younger females (aging between around 15 and 22). "That's just how he is" said one girl, "Don't let it bother you.". And as a young and impressionable teenager, I believed her.

During my first few shifts, I followed her advice, "He doesn't mean it.", "He's just a touchy-feely guy" I told myself every time that Justin would take me by the hips in order to move past me in the small isles of the tiny supermarket , or when he would get uncomfortable close when telling me something.

As the weeks and months went by, I became more aware of, and invested in creating equal rights and opportunities for all people, no matter their race, gender or sexual orientation. Feminism became a huge part of my being. I began to notice all the little things (and the big) that went on around me, whether it be the derogatory lyrics in music on the radio, or the clear gender roles that exist in my workplace.* I got better about confronting people, at making myself heard. I would ask the teenage boys graffiting trains what the point was, I would question sexist insults, and most of all, I made sure that I was not weak and submissive.

However, after all of this change, there was still one thing, that no matter how hard I tried, and how badly I wanted to, I could not stand up for. And that was me. Instead of giving Justin the well deserved speech about basic human rights, and general decency that I had spent hours upon hours thinking about, every time that he came just that little bit too close, or breached a topic just that little bit too personal, I found myself doing the worst thing possible; grinning and bearing it.
"Stupid!" "How can you let him do this to you?" I would scream at mself during and after each encounter.

There was one timed that scared me more that the rest. I was just about to walk out the of store, and into the 'staff only' area where all of the excess stock was kept, when Justin came up behind me and asked me a question. At this point, I had turned around, and was then facing Justin, with my back facing the two back walls of the store. Essentially, I was trapped. In an oddly calm manner, Justin placed his hand on my breast, and continued to talk to me as though nothing had happened.
At this point, I have frozen, both my body and my mind. For some reason all of the things that I had always wanted to yell at Justin, to spit in his face never make their way out of my mouth.

Eventually I decided that enough was enough. I needed to get out of there. I wrote a letter to my boss (who just so happens to be my managers brother), politely explaining that I no longer wish to work at his shop, for reasons that I would like to discuss, and no longer allow me to feel safe at work. I explained that the issue at hand was not something that I was willing to let slide by, and that something had to be done about it, or who knows, maybe the authorities could get involved.

You see I know how it feels to fell helpless, and vulnerable, and I am mot willing to let that happen to anybody else if I can help it.
That is why I am writing this post; not so that you all feel bad for me, to pity my, but so that you can learn from my mistakes, Speak up before it gets out of control,

Knowing when things went too far was never an issue for me. For me, the problem was finding the courage to speak the words that were always there, but somehow never made it out of my mouth and into the world.

You were born with a voice, so please, use it for good. Make the world a better place. Make yourself heard.


Til next time,
Bella
xxx

P.S. If you are feeling as though you need to speak up about sexual harassment either in your workplace, school, home or sporting clubs, please contact someone who can help, such as

*Part of my 'job' was to clean the dishes in the washroom, which only ever consisted of my manager, and boss' lunch plates, and coffee mugs.